I pride myself on having very happy clients. I don’t get negative feedback until one day a negative message came in that was terrible. It made me so upset, then sad, then furious. I work so hard for my clients, give my best and this is what I get? Except it wasn’t a client. I had never even met the person, they have never been to my studio. They did have a slight interaction, which is why they wrote me, but it didn’t involve me and only indirectly my studio.

In my initial fury, I constructed the letter in my head of exactly what I wanted to say. How dare they judge me and my studio on a 3 second interaction? Why are they taking time out of their life and away from their family to write that? I was not kind in my response, it was not pretty.

I let out a big breathe and mentally threw out that letter. I was done with that, now on to what can I do with the position I am in now.

I looked at where they stood and what they was thinking. I had been in their position and it had made me mad too. Not write a mean letter mad, because seriously, who does that? Breathe again. Yes, I have been wronged by others in the same way they were wronged and I get it. So I validated them. Everybody wants to feel like they are heard. The best thing you can do in any argument or disagreement is validate the other persons point of view. This works in marriage, parenting, with your neighbors, even the grumpy retail clerk on a busy day. Validate. Tell them you understand why they are upset. Even if you don’t agree with them, you can find some way to understand why they are hurt or upset. It softens every disagreement. In this case, the person did have a reason to be upset and I sympathized with that.

I then tried to paint a picture of what our studio represents. Maybe with their heart soften they’ll see we aren’t bad people, just people like themselves trying to do their best.

I finished with making it right. In this case I offered them a complimentary session so they can experience our studio first hand. They can see how much we care.

Would it have been more fun to send the first letter I constructed in my head? For the first minute, most definitely. But best case scenario, they would’ve ignored me. More likely it would’ve led to a mean back and forth where everyone is miserable and nobody wins.

What actually happened? Well they could’ve ignored me or even made another unkind comment, but they didn’t. They were actually very kind and even wrote a nice note. I think we realized we are both good people, having a bad moment.

They probably weren’t even aware that their letter would affect me that much or make a difference in my business. It got me thinking, how often have I complained and not thought anything of it without realizing my words too may have hurt others. How often have I thought wonderful things about a business, but never expressed it? Sometimes our voices are much louder when we are disappointed or upset. I want to challenge you to speak up, right a positive review or send a hand written letter when you receive great service.

What business are you going to let know how much you appreciate them?